SUICIDE PREVENTION MONTH--MY STORY

I hadn't talked to my older sister in six months to a year, but she called to wish me a happy birthday. She sounded anxious and flustered. I could hear the wind in the phone and the crunch of gravel as she paced.

“Randa, are you okay?” I asked after a minute of pleasantries. 

"No, not really. After I lost my job at Wal-Mart, I got a job helping emotionally challenged kids. I thought I could make a difference. I understand what they go through. The director said I wasn’t the fit they were looking for and let me go. I don’t know what I’m going to do now.

I’ve been clean and sober for two years, but it is so hard to stay that way. I don’t have any support at home. My husband says it’s his house and if he wants a drink, he’s going to have it,” her voice broke.

Alarmed, I asked, “Randa, are you on your medication for bi-polar disorder?”

“No, I can’t afford it without a job or insurance.”

“Honey, you’ve got to get some help. I can’t do anything from Texas. Is there anyone in Kansas I can call for you?”

“I’ll be fine. Talking to you helps,” she continued to pace.

“Lace, do you think God will forgive me for all the things I’ve done?” she asked.

“Don’t you know He only forgives the perfect people?” I responded. She guffawed. I teased her because we’d had this conversation before. I knew she knew the answer, but it worked to break the tension.

“Randa, no one is perfect. If I gave you a beautifully wrapped gift would you open it or would you put it on a shelf and wonder if it was for you?”

“I’d open it, of course,” she said.

“God’s forgiveness is the same. It was yours the first time you asked for it, but you’ve placed it on a shelf. Open the gift, Randa!"

I assured her of God’s unconditional love and begged her to get some help. She assured me she would be fine. I should have called her husband or sons and thrown a fit, but I didn’t want to interfere.

Last family photo, November 2003. Randa is in the middle of the front row.

    Five weeks later on October 2, 2004, my mother called with the news. In good spirits that morning, Randa had fixed a big breakfast for her husband. They sat and chatted before she saw him off to work with a goodbye kiss. He was clueless to her plan. 
     Her 32-year-old son was living in the basement of their home at the time. He had spent the night out and ran home before work to pick-up a few things. Entering the house, he called out for his mom, but got no answer. He ran downstairs to grab a clean shirt and saw Randa’s little Boston Terrier lying at the end of the bed. As he started back up the stairs, he called to her. She didn’t respond. Her eyes focused on the other side of the bed. He walked back downstairs and around the bed to see his mother’s lifeless body on the floor. She had used his gun to end her life. She was only 52 years-old.

     Today, I’d like to shine some light on the subject of suicide and depression. Every year at this time a spirit of depression descends on our entire family. It affects not just my parents and Randa’s three sons, but my siblings and my children.

     I have a wonderful life and do not consider myself depressed. I was surprised to recognize some of the symptoms listed below in myself. My doctor however explained it as a chemical imbalance and prescribed a low dosage of an antidepressant. I am amazed how the cloud in my brain has lifted. I no longer wake-up to a barrage of negative, self-defeating thoughts and my energy has returned. My only side-affect seems to be a dry mouth. It is totally worth it for the clarity which has been restored to me. I thank God for giving man the intelligence to create such a little pill.
     The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention lists the following warning signs of suicide:

Observable signs of serious depression:

• Unrelenting low mood
• Pessimism
• Hopelessness
• Desperation
• Anxiety, psychic pain and inner tension
• Withdrawal
• Sleep problems
• Increased alcohol and/or other drug use
• Recent impulsiveness and taking unnecessary risks
• Threatening suicide or expressing a strong wish to die

Making a plan:

• Giving away prized possessions
• Sudden or impulsive purchase of a firearm
• Obtaining other means of killing oneself such as poisons or medications

• Unexpected rage or anger

      The emotional crises that usually precede suicide are often recognizable and treatable. Although most depressed people are not suicidal, most suicidal people are depressed. Serious depression can be manifested in obvious sadness, but often it is rather expressed as a loss of pleasure or withdrawal from activities that had been enjoyable. One can help prevent suicide through early recognition and treatment of depression and other psychiatric illnesses.

      Ken Duckworth, medical director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, stated in an article in USA Today, “Ninety percent of people who die by suicide have a mental illness, and many are afraid to seek help. Sometimes people fear they will lose their jobs or be viewed differently if they acknowledge these problems."

     If you or someone you love exhibits any of these symptoms, I implore you to get help. There is no shame in seeking treatment. Depression is an illness which can be treated. If your loved one had pneumonia you would cart them off to the hospital whether they liked it or not. Mental illness should be viewed in the same way. You may save their life or your own.
     The National Suicide Prevention Hotline number is 1-800-273-8255.

     Gratefully, that is not the end of the story. Two years to the day of sister's death, my granddaughter, T-Bug, was born. She is the epitome of joy! He gave us the opportunity to celebrate life, rather than mourn a senseless death.

Because of my sister's death, my youngest daughter and her husband chose Budapest, Hungary to serve as missionaries.Budapest has the highest rate of suicide in the world. 

Megan just before she returned to Budapest.

Please talk to your children and be aware of others' hopelessness. Light up the world with His love.

Cauliflower Rice

Cajun Catfish over Cauliflower Rice-Yummy!

In the last year I've had hip replacement surgery, tore both ACLs, moved from our home of fourteen years, all my grandkids moved across the globe, and I put on ten pounds. Hummmm, you think these might be related? Obviously I believe in a strict regime of comfort foods at regular pity parties to ease pain.

Let me save you some time and biscuits-n-gravy, it doesn't work! It just leaves you depressed about the extra weight!

I've started working out again and am trying to get my eating under control. In addition to eliminating sugar, eating greens and fruit, I'm trying to find alternatives to refined carbs. Here's an option I found for rice!

Finely chop 4 cups of cauliflower (Target carries Green
Giant Brand which has the work done for you.)

A little olive oil, sliced garlic, Parmesan cheese,
pine nuts and fresh basil is all you need!

Toast nuts in a dry frying pan just until starting to
turn brown (1-2 minutes), while you are slicing the basil.
NOTE: Next time I'll use pecans or almonds, cause pine
nuts are REALLY expensive.

Stir fry cauliflower about 4 minutes. Turn off heat.
Add Parmesan cheese,

Sliced basil and nuts. Season with salt and pepper. Serve hot!

The catfish couldn't be any easier. Dot with butter. Cover to
taste with your favorite seasoning. We like Cajun.
Broil until fish flakes easily. 6-8 minutes

Here's the full recipe which I got from Kalyn's Kitchen.

Cauliflower Rice with Basil, Parmesan, and Pine Nuts

Ingredients:

1 lb. finely chopped fresh cauliflower (about 4 cups chopped cauliflower) NOTE: Target sells it already chopped. I think its Green Giant brand.

1 T olive oil

3 garlic cloves

1/3 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese

3/4 cup thinly sliced fresh basil leaves (more or less to taste and depending on how much fresh basil you have)

1/4 cup toasted pine nuts. 

Instructions:

Finely chop the cauliflower into pieces that are about the size of grains of rice, or slightly bigger. (Be careful not to get them too small; you want some texture in the cauliflower.) 

Slice the garlic cloves into 2-3 slices each

Grate the Parmesan cheese. 

Wash basil if needed and spin dry or dry with paper towels. Thinly slice the basil. 

Toast nuts in a dry frying pan for 1-2 minutes, until they start to brown.

Heat oil in a non-stick frying pan over medium-high heat. When oil is hot, add the garlic and cook about 30-45 seconds, or just until you can smell garlic (Browning the garlic makes it bitter). Remove garlic and discard

Add cauliflower and stir-fry until it's barely cooked through, about 4 minutes.

Season cauliflower with salt and freshly ground black pepper.  

Turn off heat 

Stir in Parmesan, basil and nuts. 

Serve hot. 

Dinner was ready in about 20 minutes, start to finish!

Hope you enjoy!

#Shiplap, Fairies and Gnomes!

Grandson was enchanted by the
fairy house in his great-great-
great grandmother's enamel pan.

I had a wonderful birthday this year.
I planned it to include
Magnolia Market in Waco, Texas. 

My youngest daughter accompanied on the trip
from Austin where my dearest friend met us. 

 It was magical. We started at the Magnolia Bakery
with a selection of cupcakes so yummy no pictures
 were taken. They had to get in our bellies!

My dearest friend bought me this fabulous t-shirt.
People stop me in the grocery store to ask where I got it.
Yes, they are jealous!

Dax offered great customer service
and a hearty "Happy Birthday!"

The fairy houses in the garden section of Magnolia Market
inspired me to create one of my own. My intent was to
preserve an enamel pan which belonged to my great- grand-
mother. Many a bean has been snapped and black-eyed pea
shelled in this pan. It's full of memories for me and
I wanted to create some new memories for my grandchildren.

I added some succulents I brought from our old home in Texas,
pine seedlings, rocks and moss to create a magical garden.
The kids love it!

I decided if I had a fairy house, I needed a Gnome house too! I stink at growing strawberries. I do better with plants that thrive on a rigorous routine of neglect. Thus, I had a lonely, empty strawberry pot.

I bought my starter items at Hobby Lobby.

Added low maintenance plants.

To create a whimsical accessory to my almost
empty flower bed!

I love it as much as the children do.

Tip: Choose items that kids can play with and move around.
Kids will entertain themselves for minutes. Hey, they have
short attention spans. What did you expect?
Hours?
.

Oodles of Zoodles!

Squash is available all year round! These came from our
Peachtree City Farmers Market. The 

For you carb watchers this gift from my son has been a great tool. It's something I wouldn't have bought for myself.  I didn't realize how easy it is to use.

Attach the vegetable. Give it a spin. In seconds you have oodles of zoodles!

The only thing easier is to get someone to do it for you.

Handsome son  made zoodles to cover with homemade marinara sauce
 made by his equally handsome spouse. 

I used a smaller blade to create "angel hair" pasta. I sauteed zucchini, onion, garlic,
and shrimp in a little butter before adding salt and pepper. So Yummy!
Even my sweetheart asked for seconds.

I couldn't leave it there. I took it to the dark side with curly fries. When the kids were small I peeled and cut up dozens of potatoes for french fries. This was so much easier. 

The fried potatoes didn't last long enough for a picture. 

I've used it to make a delicious slaw using zucchini and carrots
rather than cabbage. It's easier on my digestive tract. Everyone thanks me for that!

 

I'm going to make Chicken Marsala tonight with angel hair yellow squash "pasta". I'll let you know how it goes!