Gingersnaps and Snickerdoodles Redux

Rolled in cinnamon and sugar, baked until they are crispy on the outside but chewy in the middle, these cookies bring a sense of warmth and happiness. I've been known to call them "boy bait" 'cause I've never met a man who could resist them.

SNICKERDOODLES

1 cup soft shortening (part butter)
1 ½ cup sugar
2 eggs
2 ¾ cup flour
2 tsp. cream of tartar
1 tsp. soda
¼ tsp. salt
Heat oven to 400. Mix shortening, sugar and eggs thoroughly. Blend all dry ingredients; stir in.
Roll into balls the size of small walnuts. Roll in mixture of 2 tablespoons sugar and 2 teaspoons cinnamon. Place 2” apart on ungreased baking sheet. Bake 8 to 10 minutes. (These cookies puff up at first, then flatten out.) Makes about 5 dozen 2” cookies.

Gingersnaps and Snickerdoodles

Cool air, state fairs and football signal the arrival of fall in Texas. We like to celebrate at our house with Gingersnaps and Snickerdoodles. Crispy on the outside and chewy in the middle they go well with a cold glass of milk or a hot cup of coffee. I make at least a double batch of dough and freeze half of it in quart-size plastic bags. I use a Sharpie to write the baking instructions on the bag. These favorite cookies are my most requested recipes. This week --

GINGERSNAPS

Preheat oven 350⁰
Combine dry ingredients in medium bowl and set aside:
3 ½ cups flour
4 teaspoons soda
½ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 tablespoons ground ginger
½ teaspoon each of allspice, cloves, & nutmeg

1 ½ cups granulated sugar
½ cup brown sugar (packed)
1 ½ cups shortening (like Crisco)
2 eggs
½ cup molasses
4 teaspoon vinegar
2 teaspoon vanilla
Beat sugars together with shortening. Add eggs, combine thoroughly. Stir in molasses, vinegar and vanilla. Blend in all dry ingredients.
Form into balls the size of small walnuts. Roll in sugar. Place 2” apart on greased baking sheet. Bake 7-10 minutes until light brown. Do not over bake. They will be chewy in the middle when cooled. For crispy cookies, bake 2 to 4 minutes longer.

I use a cookie scoop to insure
uniformity of size.





I never suffer a shortage of volunteers willing to sacrifice
their dainty fingers to messy sugar.


 

They also willing to be my testers.

 Next week--Snickerdoodles.

Suicide Survivor



Senior Picture 1971

I hadn’t seen or talked to my older sister in six months to a year, but she called to wish me a happy birthday. She sounded anxious and flustered. I could hear the wind in the phone and the crunch of gravel as she paced.

“Randa, are you okay?” I asked after a minute of pleasantries. 

"No, not really. After I lost my job at Wal-Mart, I got a job helping emotionally challenged kids. I thought I could make a difference, because I understand what they go through. The director said I wasn’t the fit they were looking for and let me go. I don’t know what I’m going to do now.

I’ve been clean and sober for two years, but it is so hard to stay that way. I don’t have any support at home. My husband says it’s his house and if he wants a drink, he’s going to have it,” her voice broke.

Alarmed, I asked, “Randa, are you on your medication for bi-polar disorder?”

“No, I can’t afford it without a job or insurance.”

“Honey, you’ve got to get some help. I can’t do anything from Texas. Is there anyone in Kansas I can call for you?”

“I’ll be fine. Talking to you helps,” she continued to pace.

“Lace, do you think God will forgive me for all the things I’ve done?” she asked.

“Don’t you know He only forgives the perfect people?” I responded. She guffawed. I teased her because we’d had this conversation before. I knew she knew the answer, but it worked to break the tension.

“Randa, no one is perfect. If I gave you a beautifully wrapped gift would you open it or would you put it on a shelf and wonder if it was for you?”

“I’d open it, of course,” she said.

“God’s forgiveness is the same. It was yours the first time you asked for it, but you’ve placed it on a shelf. Open the gift, Randa!"

I assured her of God’s unconditional love and begged her to get some help. She assured me she would be fine. I should have called her husband or sons and thrown a fit, but I didn’t want to interfere.

Last family photo 11/03

     Five weeks later on October 2, 2004, my mother called with the news. In good spirits that morning, Randa had fixed a big breakfast for her husband. They sat and chatted before she saw him off to work with a kiss goodbye. He was clueless to her plan.
     Her 32-year-old son was living in the basement of their home at the time. He had spent the night out and ran home before work to pick-up a few things. Entering the house, he called out for his mom, but got no answer. He ran downstairs to grab a clean shirt and saw Randa’s little Boston Terrier lying at the end of the bed. He called to her as he started up the stairs. She didn’t respond. Her eyes stayed focused on the other side of the bed. He walked back downstairs and around the bed to see his mother’s lifeless body on the floor. She had used his gun to end her life. She was only 52 years-old.

     Today, I’d like to shine some light on the subject of suicide and depression. Every year at this time a spirit of depression descends on our entire family. It affects not just my parents and Randa’s three sons, but my siblings and my children. Last year I was surprised to recognize some of the symptoms listed below in myself. I have a wonderful life and do not consider myself depressed. My doctor however explained it as a chemical imbalance and prescribed a low dosage of an antidepressant. I am amazed how the cloud in my brain has lifted. I no longer wake-up to a barrage of negative, self-defeating thoughts and my energy has returned. My only side-affect seems to be a dry mouth. It is totally worth it for the clarity which has been restored to me. I thank God for giving man the intelligence to create such a little pill.
     The The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, along with other helpful information, lists the following warning signs of suicide:

Observable signs of serious depression:

• Unrelenting low mood
• Pessimism
• Hopelessness
• Desperation
• Anxiety, psychic pain and inner tension
• Withdrawal
• Sleep problems
• Increased alcohol and/or other drug use
• Recent impulsiveness and taking unnecessary risks
• Threatening suicide or expressing a strong wish to die

Making a plan:

• Giving away prized possessions
• Sudden or impulsive purchase of a firearm
• Obtaining other means of killing oneself such as poisons or medications

• Unexpected rage or anger

      The emotional crises that usually precede suicide are often recognizable and treatable. Although most depressed people are not suicidal, most suicidal people are depressed. Serious depression can be manifested in obvious sadness, but often it is rather expressed as a loss of pleasure or withdrawal from activities that had been enjoyable. One can help prevent suicide through early recognition and treatment of depression and other psychiatric illnesses.

      Ken Duckworth, medical director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, stated in an article in USA Today, “Ninety percent of people who die by suicide have a mental illness, and many are afraid to seek help. Sometimes people fear they will lose their jobs or be viewed differently if they acknowledge these problems."

     If you or someone you love exhibits any of these symptoms, I implore you to get help. There is no shame in seeking treatment. Depression is an illness which can be treated. If your loved one had pneumonia you would cart them off to the hospital whether they liked it or not. Mental illness should be viewed in the same way. You may save their life or your own.
     The National Suicide Prevention Hotline number is 1-800-273-8255.

     Gratefully, that is not the end of the story. Two years to the day of sister's death, my granddaughter, T-Bug, was born. She is the epitome of joy!

God redeemed the day. He gave us the opportunity to celebrate life, rather than mourn a senseless death. 

Carrot Cake



I welcomed fall with a frosted
cupcake on a maple leaf.

 After four weeks of no sugar and low carb eating, I fantasied about my birthday cake. No store-bought cake for me. It had to be homemade, and one my grandchildren would help me eat. Leftovers go in the trash.What would it be: German Chocolate; Carrot; Italian Cream; Devil's Food w/Fudge Icing?The first three cakes have two things in common--coconut and pecans! Only one sounds like a healthy choice, so Carrot Cake won!
I cut some of the calories by substituting half the oil with applesauce, and half the sugar with Splenda. It turned out a little dry, so I doubled the icing recipe. You know, kinda like having a diet Coke with your candy bar!A little ice cream always helps too! I chose Blue Bell's Blackberry Cobbler so I could say I had veggies and fruit for my birthday!

My ingredients - notice I use pre-shredded carrots
Preheat oven to 350 and prepare pans.

Grease & flour baking pans. I used two round cake pans
for a birthday cake. I usually use a 9x13 pan.

 Combine flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon. Set aside.

In separate bowl, beat together eggs, sugar, oil, and vanilla.

Stir in flour mixture; mix well.
 Stir in carrots, pineapple, raisins, and 1/2 cup nuts.

Pour batter into prepared pans.
Bake round pans & cupcakes for 25-30 minutes
Bake 9x13 pan for 50-60 minutes



Cool completely

While cake is cooling, prepare your icing:

Beat together, softened cream cheese and butter

Beat in powdered sugar, and 2 tsp. vanilla.
Add coconut and pecans.

Place a dollop of icing in the middle of
your plate to hold cake in place

Turn cake upside down, so flat portion is on top.
Frost w/approx. 1 cup of frosting

Place second layer on top.
Frost with remaining icing.

Refrigerate until time to serve.
This cake tastes better the next day.

Here's the recipe:

Carrot Cake:

2 ½ cups flour
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. cinnamon
2 cups sugar
2 eggs
1 cup oil
2 tsp. vanilla
1 (8 oz.) can crushed pineapple, well drained
½ c. raisins (my family likes Craisins better)
2 cups shredded carrots
½ cup chopped nuts
     Preheat oven to 350. Grease and flour 13x9 pan. In medium bowl, combine flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon; set aside. In large bowl, combine sugar, oil, vanilla and eggs; beat well. Stir in flour mixture; mix well. Stir in carrots, pineapple, raisins and nuts. Pour batter into greased and floured pan.
     Bake 50-60 minutes or until cake springs back when touched lightly in center. Cool completely.
ICING:
1 (8oz) pkg. cream cheese, softened
6 T. butter, softened
2 ½ cups powdered sugar
2 tsp. vanilla
1 c. coconut
½ cup chopped nuts
     In large bowl, combine cream cheese, powdered sugar, butter and 2 teaspoons of vanilla. Stir in coconut and nuts. Spread over cooled cake. Yield 12 servings.
     I doubled the recipe so I would have enough to make my birthday cake and cupcakes. My 3-year-old granddaughter is lactose intolerant so we left the cupcakes plain and celebrated her Half-Birthday.
     Hope you enjoy!

 

Celebration Squash Boats

Happy birthday to me! Yup, that cute little baby grew up to be this old lady!  I was born on a Sunday evening. Labor started in the early morning, but that didn't stop my hard-working mama from cooking breakfast, lunch, and a raisin cream pie. She also taught Sunday School, sat through the church service, and took care of my 18-month old sister until she had to go to the hospital. My mother is my hero!
This squash came from my parents' garden. At 80 and 81, Mom and Dad are still kickin' it! By the end of the summer, Dad says, "If we haven't given you some squash, it's because you saw us coming."



Mom & Dad lived in this travel trailer with no toilet or running water when I was born.

Today's post is going to be brief, because there's cake calling my name! I'll post my favorite carrot cake recipe next week. Today, I'm sharing one of my favorite side dishes for a celebration meal, Squash Boats!
YELLOW SQUASH BOATS

6 medium size yellow squash
2 chopped onions
2 tablespoons olive oil
3 (10 oz.) boxes of frozen chopped spinach, thawed and squeezed dry
1/2 cup mayo
4 oz. cream cheese
1 cup Parmesan cheese
¼ tsp. nutmeg
Salt and pepper to taste
Wash and dry squash. Split in half lengthwise. Using a tablespoon, scoop out all seeds. Leave a nice boat to fill with stuffing. Submerge in boiling water, until tender, but not mushy, about 7-10 minutes. Drain and move to bowl of ice water to stopping the cooking process. Drain and dry off any residual water by patting with paper towels.

Place olive oil in 10” skillet. Add onions and sauté until translucent. Add remaining ingredients and stir until fully combined. (Add a tablespoon of milk if mixture is too thick). Fill squash boats with spinach stuffing. Place on foil-lined 15 x 10 x 1 inch pan. Bake at 350 for 30 to 45 minutes.

Wash and remove seeds, leaving channel for stuffing





Parboil 7 to 10 minutes



Drain and cover w/ice to stop cooking process

  

Saute onion in olive oil




Thaw and squeeze out all liquid from spinach



Combine with onions



Mix in remaining ingredients.



Fill squash boats.
Place on foil-lined pan
Bake at 350 for 30-45 minutes

This side dish is so rich, I serve it with grilled salmon and a plain baked potato. If you have leftover filling, it is delicious in your baked potato.
That's one of my favorite meals. What's yours?

Pro-Life or Pro-Choice?

     I didn’t want to write about this subject. It occurred during my first marriage, one of the darkest periods of my life. However, a trip to the ER this week served as an abrupt reminder of the fragility of life. There is no guaranty of tomorrow or even the next hour. (Not to worry, I’m okay). I believe the purpose of my life is to share wisdom and, perhaps, inspiration with the next generation. Unfortunately, I gained much of my wisdom through choices I deeply regret. I cannot procrastinate in telling this story simply because the subject matter is difficult.

“You’re pregnant,” the doctor confirmed. My period was only two weeks late, but the morning sickness had already begun.

My mind in turmoil, I walked back to work on shaking legs. What am I going to do? I began to tremble, nausea overwhelmed me, and the world went black.

“Miss, are you alright?” I woke to a stranger kneeling over me. He helped me to my feet.

"I’m fine. I didn’t eat breakfast and haven’t had time for lunch,” I said. “I just got a little lightheaded.” It was all true, just not the whole truth.

“Are you sure?” he asked. “Can I get you anything?”

“No, I’m fine,” I smiled weakly. “I’ll eat something when I get back to work.”

Still concerned, my Good Samaritan insisted on walking me to my office. I thanked him and assured him I’d be fine. With only ten minutes left in my lunch hour, I grabbed a few saltine crackers and put a cup of soup in the microwave. Still weak I sat down to nibble on crackers and wait for my soup to warm.

How am I going to tell my husband I’m pregnant again?

I always wanted a family. While dating, we discussed starting our family after we had been married for two years. Once we were married, he decided he didn’t want to bring another life into this world. After six years of hoping he would reconsider his decision, I packed my bag to leave. We no longer had common beliefs, interests, or goals. The shock of my decision, as well as his father’s impending death to lung cancer, triggered his reluctant agreement to have a child. I stayed, and within two months, I was pregnant.

I broke the news of my first pregnancy by having his assistant leave a message for him. “The rabbit died,” it said. I didn’t think he would take the news well, and I couldn’t handle his anger. Breaking it to him in this way gave him time to adjust to the idea before I had to face him. I calculated correctly. While not excited about the pregnancy, he wasn’t angry with me.

But, when he held Baby in his arms, everything changed. He adored her. He focused on her, a charming distraction from his graduate studies. He found little time for me. Yet here I was, only six months later, pregnant again.

The work day dragged on in spite of pressure of filing deadlines. As I boarded the bus for home, my mind continued to work at the knot of my situation.

“Hey, girl, what has you so deep in thought?” I looked up as my best friend settled in beside me.

“Janie, I’m pregnant,” I said as tears welling in my eyes.

“Oh, no! When did you find out?”

“Just today; I haven’t even told my husband yet. I don’t know if he wants another child, but I’m certain he won’t want one so soon.”

“Well, hasn’t Baby been good for your marriage?” she asked handing me a tissue.

“No. When he is home, it’s all about her. If it’s done anything, it has amplified our differences. He has made it abundantly clear that I’m not smart, funny. or thin enough, but I always thought I would be a good mother. He says I can’t even change a diaper right,” I said wiping away the tears. “You know how you dream of being pampered and cherished when you are carrying someone’s child? Well, it’s just a fairy tale. He not only didn’t pamper or cherish me; he acted like he needed to toughen me up. I was five months pregnant, in a dress and heels, when he forced me to run across the Texas State Fairgrounds. Was it an emergency? No, he didn’t want to be late for kickoff of the OU/Texas game! He left me in the middle of my horrendous 42-hour labor to play tennis because he needed a break. HE needed a break!” My voice rose to hysterical heights.

“I don’t know how I can do it physically. Between the long hours as a legal assistant, and being up with the baby at night, I’m exhausted all the time. He takes care of her between classes, but he leaves as soon as I get home to play whatever sport strikes his fancy. He doesn’t help me. He corrects me. His help is to show me the “right” way to do things. He’s not going to help me with two children,” I said, as the tears turned to sobs.

She gently took my hand and said, “You don’t have to have this baby. You do have a choice. It isn’t even a baby yet, just a bundle of cells.”

“Really?” I raised my head. “It’s just a bundle of cells?”

“I have terminated two pregnancies. You are in charge of your own body. You don’t have to have another baby right now. You are only 26. There is plenty of time to have more children,” she said with a reassuring pat on my hand.

“You’ve had two abortions?” I sat up and blew my nose.

“Yes, one in high school, for obvious reasons, and one last year. We can’t afford a baby until Bill finishes his master’s program,” she said.

“Huh, I never thought of that as an option. I thought about adoption, but I couldn’t carry this baby to term and give it up. Plus, I’m a married woman, what would people think?” I shook my head at the thought.

“I’ll give you the name of my doctor. He does the procedure in the office. They put you to sleep and when you wake up it’s all over. It costs $300 cash,” she counseled.

My husband took the news as I expected. He did not want another child. No, we couldn’t afford for me to stay home with two babies while he finished his PhD. No, we couldn’t afford childcare for two children either. No, he didn’t want to get a job other than his teaching assistantship, because it wouldn’t leave him with any free time for sports. He offered no alternative to an abortion, but he wouldn’t force me to have one either. He left that decision and responsibility to me. As I suspected, I was on my own.

As women do, I talked to two of my closest friends about my dilemma. To my surprise they had already had abortions. I felt desperate and alone.

Once the decision was made, I didn’t waste any time making the appointment. Dwelling on my decision did not make it any easier. I just wanted to rip off the bandage. I scheduled the abortion for Friday morning of the same week. My husband dropped me off. After the procedure he picked me up and took me home. He propped me up on the couch. Despite the doctor’s instruction to rest and not pick up anything heavier than ten pounds, he plopped Baby on the floor beside me. He went outside to visit with our neighbors and mow the yard. I felt abandoned and alone. We never talked about the abortion again.

The ordeal left me bitter and angry. It signaled the end of my marriage. Within six week, I initiated an affair with a married man. I left my husband 14 months later.

So, am I pro-life or pro-choice? Why can’t I be both? I will leave the when-a-fetus-becomes-a-baby-debate to someone much smarter than I. I do not know if a soul is implanted at conception or when brain development makes emotion and cognition possible. Scientists believe that does not occur until the late second trimester or early third trimester. On the other hand, I do not believe the government has a right to legislate my choice to terminate a pregnancy any more than it has a right to limit the number of children I bear. What I do know are the emotional consequences of an abortion.

I believe in a God of Mercy, and I believe I am forgiven, but that “bundle of cells” has haunted me for 32 years. I wonder many things. Had I stayed in the marriage, would we have been forced to make it work? Would weekend visitations and shared custody have been easier on Baby if she’d had a sibling? When I hear a friend struggle with infertility, I think of the life I threw away. I grieve for lost potential. Books like Heaven Is For Real make me cry. Is my child waiting for me in heaven with questions about my lack of love?

I don’t know the answers to any of those questions. If you are trying to decide whether or not to terminate a pregnancy, please get counseling outside your circle of friends. If you have never had to make that difficult decision, please be merciful in your opinions of those who have.

Mexican Pineapple Cake

Remember the baby shower I threw back in May? Baby Boy was born at the end of May. I finally got to see him last weekend. Here he is with my oldest granddaughter. Isn't he a cutie!

The occasion was his grandfather's birthday, so I made the same Mexican Pineapple Cake my daughter made for the baby shower. Super easy and so delicious. 

Cream butter & sugar together. Blend in dry ingedients.
Mix in pineapple and pecans.

Pour into greased 9 x 13" pan
Bake at 350 for 45 minutes

Mix icing ingredients together and pour on warm cake.
(This picture is from the showerl. The cake is on the top tier)

MEXICAN CAKE
2 c. sugar
2 eggs
2 c. flour
2 tsp. soda
1 (20 oz.) can crushed pineapple, in heavy syrup
1 c. chopped pecans
Pinch of salt
Cream sugar and eggs together. Add flour, soda and salt together. Blend into sugar mixture. Add pineapple and pecans. Mix well. Pour into greased 9x13” pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes.
MEXICAN CAKE ICING:
1 (8 oz.) pkg. cream cheese
1 stick butter
2 c. powdered sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
Cream softened butter and cream cheese together. Add powdered sugar and vanilla. Mix well and pour on warm cake. Serve as soon as possible.
Although the recipe doesn't call for it, next time I would garnish with chopped pecans. My birthday candle looked a little lonely on the sea of melting icing.
ENJOY!